Straight On 'Til Yesterday
by averyastrid
Summary: It was only ten hours into their journey to Neverland when the events of the last few days became too much for Emma. It was her sickness that became the start to their epic journey to save their son...and possibly themselves. SQ.


**Disclaimer: Own nothing.**

**Notes: This is a slow burning agony of the beauty that is Swan Queen. **

**Welp, that is depending on the response. I have never wrote Swan Queen before – so I am wondering if this is worth continuing?**

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**1. So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. **

There was staleness to the air of the cabin that caused uneasiness in the pit of her stomach. Well – she was sure it was the combination of the stale air and the constant thrashing of the ship as it glided along stormy waters.

It was only ten hours in their journey and she had already vomited seven times on the deck before she was sentenced to go to the shipmate's quarters and lay in one of the four beds embedded in the wall. She wanted to disagree and stay on the main deck and keep a watchful eye out, but everyone agreed that she would be no use to them if she was doubled over and vomiting.

And when an Evil Queen, Rumpelstiltskin, a pirate, and her parents all agree on something at the same time…well she wasn't one to argue.

She must say – this whole pirate ship adventure would have been a hell of lot more fun if it wasn't under these circumstances.

You know, more Pirates of the Caribbean (hot sexy outfits, sword fights, and a possible little jig about having dirt in a jar) and a lot less of 'Oh my fucking god, my son/grandson/my boy's son/my lover's son's son!'

Emma unlaced her boots and kicked them off before crawling into the bed positioned over a storage closet. She frowned at the scratchy top blanket but soon sighed in relief when she crawled under the soft sheets and curled her knees up to the stomach.

For being a bed in a pirate ship it was pretty comfortable.

The sudden weight of the last 24 hours began to weight down on her body. It created a physical sense as her body deflated underneath the covers and she curled tighter within herself.

She must have looked small to anyone who came into the room – weak. Appearing weak was one of the things she hated most.

Yet, at this moment she didn't care much.

Her body was fatigued.

She hasn't slept in nearly two days.

She watched the only person she had any kind of romantic love for fall down into an abyss – probably dead.

She helped Regina stop the whole town of Storybrooke from being destroyed.

And then her son.

Her son – god her fucking son – was kidnapped and taken to a fucking island that she had once thought was the figment of a Disney movie about a boy who didn't want to fucking grow up.

She could handle that.

She could handle the idea of Henry playing around with the Lost Boys and flying around a tropical island while fighting off pirates.

He would love that adventure.

More power to him.

Except the fucking 'boy who never wanted to grow up' was some sort of crazy soul-sucking shadow demon – and Emma Swan was always the kid who was scared of the thought of soul-sucking shadow demons. Which meant that she was fucking terrified for her son – and for herself.

Seriously?!

A fucking soul-sucking shadow demon thingy?

What the fuck happened to ogres?!

She clutched her heart – feeling overwhelmed and suddenly alone – as she let out a sob at the thought of Henry being in any kind of danger.

When had she become a mom?

Worried and fretful for another human being?

And what kind of mom was she?

To be here in the fucking cabin because she couldn't handle a fucking boat on the ocean?

If she couldn't handle that then how the hell could she expect to handle what is coming up?

She let out another sob – this one filled with hopelessness.

The heaviness of her heart began to weight down her chest making it harder to catch her breath through the shaking of her body. The heaviness that has slowly been filling her heart over the course of the time since she stepped foot into Storybrooke. It was as if someone was slowly dripping thick molasses into the organ.

For a while she could handle it.

Everything.

The feeling of being apart of something.

First having Henry wanting her in his life.

Then being welcomed into the town – Mary Margaret, becoming sheriff, having friends.

The constant (amusing/arousing/somewhat nerve wrecking) battling between herself and the mayor – queen – Regina.

Then breaking the curse.

Fairy Tale Land.

Coming back.

Her parents – she fucking had parents.

Neal.

Cora and Regina.

Regina.

Stopping the failsafe from destroying the whole town.

She could handle most of that.

Her heart wasn't as heavy – she could still breathe.

But it was the moment she stepped forward to help the older woman stop the failsafe that the heaviness magnified.

There was a fucking spark – a connection – and she has yet to figure out what that exactly means.

She couldn't exactly grasp the words to describe the feeling of magic coursing through her body let alone describe the feeling of it mixing with another's and having it circulate through her system.

She had _felt_ Regina.

She had felt the purple haze of her magic find it's way into her blood stream and take residence inside her heart before blasting forward out of her hands to the black diamond.

Regina had been right about not being strong enough. Emma, herself, probably wouldn't have been strong enough either. But something inside her – primal even – told her that they would be strong enough to do it together.

_Together_.

And when she looked into Regina's eyes – those beautiful eyes illuminated by blue and purple magic – she saw something that she had never seen before from the woman. It was simple happiness and that very moment she looked into Regina's eyes Emma felt like her heart was being plucked out of her chest only to be gently put back again.

It was that moment that her heart felt too heavy to carry.

Weighed down.

And then Henry being captured.

That was the overflow before tipping.

"Miss Swan?" Regina's voice was gentle and steady – a tone she had only heard used with Henry.

Emma's blood was buzzing.

Similar to having Regina's magic flow through her.

Sucking in air and quickly holding in another sob, Emma wiped at her eyes before turning to look at the door where Regina stood.

If Emma wasn't weighed down she would chuckle at how regal the older woman looked. She always looked. Her black peacoat was buttoned up and the collars up as to protect the woman from the chilled breeze. She stood out completely in the stale and damp cabin.

Emma hiccupped, "Yeah, everything okay? Is there any news?"

For a second Emma saw a softness in Regina and had the urge to melt into her before the softness was quickly erased.

And before her stood a queen again – hard and regal – as she closed the door behind her and walked forward. "Yes, well, as okay as it can be with my…our… son in the hands of a lunatic."

Emma took another deep breath – she was not weak.

Regina continued to walk forward, her gloved hands playing with a canteen in her hand. "Killan said it would be another four nights before we will make it to the shores of Neverland. "

Her tone was firm but Emma lifted her eyes a little and she could see the worry leak from the woman's words.

"Apparently the portal decided to place us at the edge of the ocean and from the over use of portals opening around the island – it seems to have caused some kind of storm that neither I – nor Rumple – can control." Regina explained, coming to a stop a foot away from her bunk.

"Is there any way to make the ship go faster? Anyway to teleport or something?" Emma asked – her voice scratchy and panicked.

Regina shook her head in the negative and reached forward to hand Emma the canteen.

"Drink this, you are going to need your energy. It will help with the sea sickness."

Emma reached forward to take the canteen from her – eyebrows furrowed as she said a light thanks.

Regina nodded and began to walk away from her. As she was about to come to the door, she stopped.

Hesitated.

Regina turned around and met Emma's eyes with a frown. Her hand coming up to clutch at her chest.

"Do you feel it, Miss Swan?"

Emma heard the crack in her voice – the wavering desperation of a woman teetering on the edge of breaking and holding herself together by bare threads.

Emma's breath hitched as Regina took quick, long strides back to Emma.

She had never felt so small before – so stunned and useless as she lay in the bunk curled within herself. Regina was so close, the edge of Emma's bunk pushing into the top of her stomach.

Emma smelt apples and lavender on the woman – inhaled.

Regina had tears coming to gloss over her eyes as her hand desperately clutched at her chest as she whispered to the younger woman. "Do you feel it…Emma?"

Emma looked at Regina's hand, how it dug into her wool peacoat as if it was trying to reach into her own chest.

Emma didn't realize that she was holding her breath until she went to answer – unable to. Instead, she reached forward to grasp the woman's hand and pull it away from Regina's chest.

She nodded before looking up into the whiskey hued eyes. Emma's mouth curled down before sobbing, "Heavy."

Regina sucked in air – surprised at Emma's sob let alone her own weakness – before pulling her hand away from Emma's. She turned away from the blonde and headed back to the door.

"Rest up, Miss Swan, we are going to need you."

The door closed and Emma sobbed.

* * *

The first thing that Emma noticed when she woke up was that her stomach didn't churn over onto itself. Her body felt odd as if it were vibrating, but the churning was gone.

Thank the heavens.

She actually felt well rested, warm, and the staleness within the air of the cabin had gone away.

The second thing that she noticed was a faint crying – a soft sobbing flowing into her ears that sounded like a child's.

Henry!

Emma opened her eyes and quickly leapt forward suddenly realizing that she wasn't in her bunk anymore.

Or on a ship.

Everything was suddenly Technicolor.

"What the fu…" she realizing that she was in a bright green grassy field next to an estate.

Jumping up quickly, heart racing, Emma looked around her environment in complete disbelief and panic.

Where the fuck was she?

The air was clean – the smell of crisp apples and grass and animals in the distant.

Emma noticed the brightly colotrf trees kissing the edge of the large field with a large estate twenty yards from her. The estate was grey stone with brown wooden windows and ivy climbing up the sides of outside walls.

The sun was at it's peak – glaringly so - causing Emma to squint her eyes and put her hand up to block it away.

And there was another sob.

It rang through Emma's body as if she were a bell.

Unable to take the time and figure out where she was – Emma quickly followed the sound to the doorway of the open back patio doors of the estate. The slight breeze was blowing through white drapes.

"Hello?" Emma called – an echo in her voice - before pushing the drapes away to reveal an open parlor.

There, sitting on the edge of a purple chaise, was a little girl with her head in her hands and her small shoulders heaving. There was a lite purple haze around the little girl.

Emma squinched her eyes shut and opened them – the haze was still there.

The little girl looked so tiny, years younger than Henry – Emma thought to herself.

Her dark brown hair was pulled up into a milkmaid braid with lavender strung through it. She had on a white chemise and a deep purple bodice.

Emma took a step into the room and the little girl immediately looked up at her. Emma gasped at the cut that split the little girl's lips.

At the sight of blood – Emma immediately rushed over to the girl and kneeled down. The closer to got to the child the more her body began to buzz and the brighter the purple haze got.

Gently, Emma said, "You're bleeding."

Startled – the little girl looked up at Emma with big eyes.

Familiar eyes.

Brown eyes.

Panicked eyes.

"Who are you?" the little girl whispered to Emma. Then she looks at Emma with wide hopeful eyes, "Are you… are you my fairy god mother?!"

Emma's eyes widened as she shook her head at the little girl. She hated the soft shining in the young child's eyes fade as her hope got quickly shot down.

Emma reached her hand through the purple haze around the child and put it on the small child's chin to look at the cut – it was deep, would need stitches.

"No, I'm…what happened to your lip?" Emma asked with a soft, slightly urgent voice.

The little girl looked around – scared – before looking back at Emma and shrugged her shoulders. Her voice was as small as she was, "I was a bad girl."

Something inside Emma broke and she shook her head (the buzzing in her body increasing), "No, no, whoever did this to you is bad. I promise you that."

The tiny child frown and her bottom lip trembled. She shook her head, "My momma isn't bad. I was bad. I…I…I fear that wasn't polite to..to..to.. Lord Brinton. I get punished when I am bad so that I learn."

Emma frowned deeply.

Fucking great.

She has no fucking idea where she was and now there was a kid that was getting abused and the damn kid reminded her so fucking much of Henry and she didn't know what to do.

"Shh," Emma offered in reassurance and smoothed back a curl that came out of the little girl's braid – frowning when she saw the purple bruise on the little girl's temple.

She took a deep breath.

She had to get back to the ship (wherever the fuck that may be) – but she couldn't leave this child here.

Emma stood up and looked toward the open door that lead out into the hallway at the back of the room before looking back down at the little girl.

She bent back down to meet the little girl's eyes. With a gentle voice, "Moms aren't meant to hurt their children, sweetie. Let me take you somewhere safe and we can get your lip looked at."

The little girl frowned and shook her head quickly, "No, Momma will be angry. She told me to s-s-stay here."

"I know, sweetie, but I don't think you are safe," Emma whispered to the young girl – her heart breaking. "I want to keep you safe."

The little girl looked back behind her and then back at Emma before nodding her head.

Emma sighed in relief.

She stood up and reached down for the small girl when the room began to tilt back and forth – rocking Emma and causing her to become unsteady.

The small child looked up at her confused but the buzzing in her body was becoming stronger as was the rocking. Emma tried to steady herself but became unsuccessful.

Suddenly a voice rang through the room causing the little girl to sit up straight – fear written across her face.

"Regina!"

* * *

"Emma!"

Emma jumped up in her bunk – her heart racing and sweat coating her face. She looked around with wide eyes as her hand went up to clutch her chest in hopes to calm her heart.

It was dark and the stale air was back.

And the rocking was worse than she had remembered.

She was back in her bunk on the ship.

Oh fuck.

And by the looks of it – with most of the 'crew' staring at her.

She took another deep breath as Snow took Emma's face in her hands – a worried expression playing on the young mother's face. "You're awake!"

Emma nodded her head but quickly regretted it as the room began to spin.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She rasped out – confused.

She was just there with the little girl. She was about to pick her up and then a voice – one that sounded like Cora's – rang through and the girl was scared. Then the room was tipping. And now she was back here.

Was it a dream?

If so – why did it feel so real?

"You were screaming in your sleep when we came down her to get some rest. We have been trying to wake you up for the past five minutes." Snow answered as she sighed.

David nodded his head as he put a hand on his daughter's shoulder. Emma's heart nearly broke at the agony playing on his face.

What surprised her was Regina standing beside Snow – the same worry.

"I'm sorry, it was probably a bad dream and I've been so exhausted…" Emma said, looking down.

"Do you remember what it was about, Miss Swan?" Regina's voice vibrated through Emma's body.

Snow jumped in, "You were screaming out Regina's name."

Emma looked up – eyebrows meeting her hairline - as she met Regina's eyes.

She couldn't say that she had a dream about a kid who just so happened to be named Regina and had a mother who ab-

Oh fuck.

A frown plagued her face as she unconsciously reached out to squeeze Regina's forearm through the woman's coat.

"It was just a dream," Emma explained. "Regina was hurt and I was trying to save her and…it was just a dream."

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**Worth continuing and making a long, epic adventure out of it? You can also find me on tumblr: bobbingformangos**


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